Halas, baby.
Mommy didn’t know you had this kind of spunk in you.
Looking fierce, Hal, looking fierce.
The Blonde’s newest niece made her big debut this week.
Weighing in at 6 lbs. and 6 oz., Miss Simone Lyn arrived about a month early taking both first-time Mommy Traci and Daddy Mando by surprise, not to mention rendering her Aunt Blonde speechless when she got the phone call Thursday afternoon. And, shutting me up is no easy feat.
Now, that’s the way to make a grand entrance.
Well played, Simone. That’ll keep Mommy and Daddy on their toes.
Filed under: The Adventures | Tags: ABBA tribute band, Symphony on the Prairie, Flavor Flav helmet, viking helmet, growing old
From last night’s adventures at Symphony on the Prairie…
Spider-Husband actually got out of his seat to get a closer shot of this guy wearing Flavor Flav’s viking helmet.
They were like the cutest couple ever, especially when they got on their feet for “Dancing Queen”.
Now, that’s how I want to be when I grow up.
Filed under: The Adventures | Tags: ABBA tribute band, ABBA music, Symphony on the Prairie, Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra
It’s been a long time since there’s been a date night in the Blonde household. Unfortunately for Spider-Husband, there happened to be an ABBA tribute band in town when the occasion struck, and to add insult to injury, they were being backed by the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra. ABBA and orchestra music – two of his very favorite things.
I was in disbelief myself until the picnic dinner was packed, the car was loaded, and the Blondes were en route to Connor Prairie for the Saturday night Symphony on the Prairie.
We got there early and were able to eat about half our dinner before an announcement was made that a nasty (but fast-moving) thunderstorm was about 15 minutes away from the venue and that in the interest of safety, everyone would need to pack up and return to their cars until the storm had passed.
Fortunately, the Blonde family packs light, and we made it back to the car before any rain started. This was not the case for several other attendees who treat the event as a backyard BBQ complete with lawn chairs, tables, umbrellas, and a feast to feed a small country.
The weather was not helping my date night out. If not for the chocolate chip cookies brought for dessert, I’m pretty sure Spider-Husband would have seized this opportunity for escape.
Karma was on the Blonde’s side, though, and the storm passed by us in plenty of time to return to the lawn and people watch before the show began.
Spider-Husband is always amazed at the crowd who attends the Symphony events and has a knack for picking the one group of people no one really wants to sit by, and last night was no exception. Last night’s luck of the draw included 45-year-old, overly-tan, way overdressed, golf-playing John and his equally over-tan, slightly intoxicated, reminds me of Janice from Friends, bride-to-be who spent most of the night telling anyone who would listen about the impending nuptials and proposed honeymoon in Italy, making suggestive comments involving the food they were eating to the two couples they were with, edging their chairs and other crap onto our blanket inch by inch, rattling off which golf courses they are members of and which ones to avoid because the staff wasn’t up to snuff, dumping their discarded cocktail shrimp tails on the lawn by our blanket, and my personal favorite, using the free eco-friendly grocery bags that were given out at the event as a garbage bag.
Self-important and a friend of the earth, too. Nice.
At least, they shut up during the performance, which was fantastic.
Aside from some bizarre voiceover which invited us to spread our wings and fly back in time to Sweden in 1969 when a young ABBA takes the stage for the very first time, the show was a lot of fun. The tribute band was actually very good and played all of my favorites (except “Lay All Your Love on Me”) including “Voulez Vous”, “Mamma Mia”, “The Winner Takes It All”, and, of course, “Dancing Queen”.
It was the best date ever.
Filed under: The Family | Tags: high school dance, sister birthday, sophomore year, Turnabout
Today is my sister Lynnette’s birthday.
I actually did send you a birthday card in the mail, but since it didn’t find its way into my mailbox until yesterday morning, I’m guessing it’s going to be late.
This happens every year. I buy the card a month ahead of time and mail it about a month afterward. So, this should come as no surprise. : )
I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. We’d have a good time. It’d be just like Turnabout our sophomore year…
Only without the cute dresses, plastic bouquets, and big hair.
Man, did we rock those bangs or what?
Happy Birthday ‘Nette!
Filed under: The Husband | Tags: bicycles, bikes, biking, riding bikes, Spider-Husband
Now, here’s a man who knows how to handle his rig.
Roll on, Spider-Husband, roll on.
Filed under: The Adventures | Tags: bicycle, bicycling, biking, High Timber, new bike, Schwinn
Unwilling to crush Spider-Husband’s dream of coasting through the neighborhood, I resumed my search for the perfect bike this weekend and managed to find a suitable replacement for the recently scorned, Roxie Cruiser.
After returning the bike, Spider-Husband and I headed to the back of the store to sample the other wares determined to find THE bike that even a clod like me could tame. I think I sat on every woman’s bike they had…some of them twice which Spider-Husband particularly enjoyed since he was the one lifting them in and out of their display racks…before announcing that I needed to look elsewhere since the only bike I even thought would do was purple. I hate purple and just can’t bring myself to ride a purple bike.
If Spider-Husband didn’t divorce me on that day, I think that bodes well for the rest of our marriage.
Seriously, though, it was purple. And, I’m not talking a nice rich dark purple either, it was lilac…maybe lavender, if you want to give Schwinn the benefit of the doubt.
He saw the writing on the wall when I invoked the “W”-word, and I suggested going to Wal-Mart…the store that gives me a panic attack just thinking about it…to look at their bikes.
But, in a rare (okay, it’s not really that rare) twist of gastric fate, my intestines, sensing the wave of Wal-Mart anxiety, stepped up their game causing an immediate detour to the nearest bathroom available, which was conveniently located in the Meijer store. And, after spending ten minutes showing no mercy to the bathroom facilities, I felt compelled to at least see if there was anything I might want to buy at the store.
I know…that may be the most disturbing part of the whole story. The horror will pass.
And, there it was…the bike for me…the Schwinn High Timber.
A very garish shade of blue, yes, but it’s nowhere near any hue remotely resembling purple, and such a small price to pay to help fulfill the dreams of a Spider-Husband. A very small, rock hard seat, indeed, but who knows maybe having a seat that actually fits IN your ass could work out. I mean people seem to have really jumped on that thong bandwagon and don’t seem to mind.
Two rides around the neighborhood later, it seems to be working out. And, I’ll have no problem riding at night ’cause I’m pretty sure that electric blue is visible from space. And, surprisingly, a bike seat IN the ass is astoundingly more comfortable than one would think. I’ve even managed to successfully navigate around the same parked truck without incident.
Damn Roxie Cruiser. I knew it was your fault.
If your ego has suffered a crushing blow and the left side of your abdomen has turned a lovely shade of violet and indigo, cast blame somewhere else. It’ll make you feel better. Trust me.
After some thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that it was not me…or my lack of coordination or inability to walk without crashing into things or my own general clumsiness…that caused the now infamous “Roxie Cruiser Incident.” Alas, this was a partnership that was never meant to be. And, I blame Roxie.
And, oddly enough, Spider-Husband does, too.
What with her wide upswept handlebars, the oversized comfort seat, her shiny polished chrome accents, and that adorable pink frame, I should have known she’d only break my heart. It was with mixed emotions that Roxie and I ended our brief affair this past Saturday when she was returned to the store where she’s likely already caught some other girl’s eye and worked her charm. I hope for her sake she has better balance than I do.
Oh, Roxie.
Although I only knew you briefly, I’ll always have fond memories of that one carefree moment where together we traveled down the road with reckless abandon and such youthful enthusiasm…and then smacked right into a truck.
And, if my memories fail me, I’m sure my brand new scars won’t.
Father’s Day is not amongst my favorite of days ever since my Dad died. I’ll be honest with you. It sucks.
Over the past few years I’ve been able to focus on celebrating the day with Spider-Husband’s Dad, which has made it a little easier for me, but this year my father-in-law has to work on Father’s Day and is keeping a much busier schedule than us telling Spider-Husband that he wouldn’t be available until after August to do anything for either his birthday or Father’s Day. I don’t even know what that means.
I’ve tried to stay busy around the house today…doing laundry, balancing the checkbook, filing old papers and bills, whatever I can find to keep my mind off how different this day feels just knowing that there’s no Dad for you to share it with anymore. It’s not the memories of Father’s Day past. Truth be told, I’ve spent more Father’s Days away from my Dad than with him. My parents divorced when I was very young, and my brother and I lived with our mom about three hours south of where my Dad and his family lived. Those Father’s Days weren’t much different than today.
Only, I still had a Dad then.
I realized for the first time this morning that it’s been over seven years since he passed away, and I was stunned. Seven years. I can’t even comprehend how so much time has passed. And, things are so much different now. I don’t even know if he’d recognize the person I’ve become.
I’m married now to a man that my Dad would have loved. Not just because he married his daughter, but because he knows football and likes to talk politics and goes out of his way to be kind to my family.
I have a career now. I’ve stayed at my current job longer than anywhere else I’ve worked before, and I think I’m actually good at what I do. And, it’s something I could explain to him, an environment he could relate to with his background in sales.
I have a house and dogs and dreams that are far more suburban and traditional than I think he could ever have imagined for me.
I’m happy. And, that’s what hurts the most. He was there to see all of the hard times and the struggles and the sadness, but he was gone before the days got brighter. And, there’s just so much more that I wish he could have been here to see.
But, he’s not.
So, today I’m going to cling to those memories I do have…
and believe that those memories are enough to last me a lifetime. They’ll have to because they’re all I get.
Filed under: The Adventures, The Family | Tags: Ash, camping, Evil Dead, flood relief, flooding, Indiana flooding, rain, Red Cross, thunderstorms, vacation, White Castle
About this time last summer, Spider-Husband’s mom and sister invited us to go on a mini-vacation of sorts and asked if we’d be interested in renting a couple cabins in one of the state parks for a weekend. Cabin space is pretty limited, so if you’re interested in getting space, you need to make a reservation up to a year in advance.
I’m not exactly what you picture when you think of camping as one of my coworkers reminded me this afternoon, “You camping? Who fluffs your pillows? What time does the caterer arrive?” But, Spider-Husband is a fan, and it’s cheap…two qualities that will dramatically improve your odds in the Blonde household. So, we signed on late last summer and have spent the past several months waiting for June 6 to arrive.
When the big day finally arrived, Spider-Husband and I were ready for adventure. The Disaster Twins securely left in the care of “Grandma Karel”, we cut out of work early on Friday and were on the road by 2 p.m. to make our big escape.
5 p.m. – SpiderHusband, Mom Connie, Brother-in-Law-to-Be Mike, and the Troops (comprised of our soon-to-be niece and nephews – Zachary, Courtney, Jeremy, and Gabriel) arrive at Shakamak State Park and start to set up camp
5:45 p.m. – The Blonde makes the mistake of letting her loving nephew retrieve his own can of Coke…half of which immediately ends up on her shoes and legs after being shaken in a way that only a three-year-old can manage
6:15 p.m. – Ever the outdoorsmen, Zachary and Spider-Husband build a campfire using the very handy and very aromatic remnants of a White Castle Crave Case as kindling
6:30 p.m. – Sister-in-Law-Already Media arrives with the rest of the loot
7:20 p.m. – SpiderHusband makes the Blonde what might possibly be the best PB and J sandwich she’s ever eaten
7:30 p.m. – It starts to rain…er, pour
7:40 p.m. – Nine people in varying degrees of sogginess crowd on to a screened-in porch for four to play Taboo
8:05 p.m. – The Blonde spots a creature the size of a small housecat scamper across the front room of her cabin and somehow manages NOT to hyperventilate
9:35 p.m. – With one victory under their belt each, several members of Team Courtney and Team Jeremy head back to their cabin in what has now become a torrential downpour
9:45 p.m. – The Blonde is forced to sleep next to the same wall that she earlier witnessed an unknown rodent running along after Spider-Husband conducts an extensive search and turns up no evidence of said creature
Saturday, 1:32 a.m. – Monsoon-like conditions kill the electricity
1:47 a.m. – Spider-Husband gets up to investigate a giant booming noise that the Blonde suspects is a tree falling on her beloved Civic…it is not
1:49 a.m. – The Blonde’s fantastic digestive system kicks in to action as her intestines launch a revolt against the much-feared Burger King cheeseburger that she knew better, but chose to snarf down anyway for lunch that day
1:59 a.m. – Media starts to text message the Blonde and Spider-Husband after seeing our flashlights whipping around the cabin
2:15 a.m. – Spider-Husband informs the Blonde that if this trip gets any worse he’ll insist she call him “Ash” for the rest of the trip
7:30 a.m. – Rain lets up just enough for park staff to inform us that if they can’t get power up and running soon, they’ll be forced to shut the park and kick us out since their sewer system also runs on electricity…oh, and no flushing unless it’s absolutely necessary
8 a.m. – Rain resumes and the Troops indulge in some not-so-nature-related activities like…
Video Games…
Text Messaging…
And, my personal favorite…putting each other in “time outs”.
9:20 a.m. – The rain stops and we head out to hike on one of the park’s four trails since all the other park facilities are closed due to flooding, lack of electricity, and the state of emergency that the county is now under
9:24 a.m. – We head to the playground after discovering Trail One is now below sea level
9:50 a.m. – The Blonde’s new tennis shoes and her inner thighs are completely covered with mud after assisting her nephew, of the shaken Coke incident, on the playground equipment
11:30 a.m. – Ash and Mike spend an hour building a campfire using damp paper plates, toilet paper rolls, empty McDonalds containers, and lots of rain-soaked sticks
12:30 p.m. – We enjoy a most excellent hotdog and hamburger cookout and bust out the portable radio to hear the latest news on the weather
1 p.m. – We learn that the entire area is in a state of emergency and that several major highways surrounding the park have been closed due to flooding and more rain is expected that afternoon
1:15 p.m. – The levee that supplies the Jasonville Water Company service area, including the park, fails and residents are informed that water service will be shut off at 6 p.m. and may not be restored until 3-4 days
1:30 p.m. – Park ranger stops by camp to tell us the park is closing and that we need to evacuate as soon as we can find a route not covered by water
3 p.m. – The Blonde, Ash, and Mom Connie head north toward Terre Haute to pick up I-70, which we later discover is closed going eastbound after a portion of the road collapsed due to rising floodwaters
4:45 p.m. – After sitting in traffic and being guided by public safety crews through flooded intersections for about 20 miles, we reach I-70 and head west in the opposite direction from home and into Illinois since all eastbound highways are impassable
6:15 p.m. – We cross the Illinois state line and head back into Indiana
9:30 p.m. – After dropping off Mom Connie and picking up the Disaster Twins, we reach our final destination…the not-so-palatial Blonde estate…our mini-mini-vacation at an end
All joking aside, this may officially rank as the worst attempt at a vacation ever for us, but it’s not so bad when compared to the devastation that several of the communities we drove through on our way back home are now faced with after their homes and businesses were destroyed by one of the worst floods Indiana has had in many years. Spider-Husband and I were shocked when we saw the news coverage on the television when we got home and are both very grateful that our family made it safely out of the flood area and back to Indianapolis.
I’ll be making a donation to the American Red Cross of Greater Indianapolis tomorrow to help provide flood relief assistance to those communities. If you’re interested in donating, too, you can make a contribution through the American Red Cross of Greater Indianapolis website or by calling (317) 684-1441.
