The Great Outdoors

The Great Outdoors

June 12, 2008, 9:08 pm
Filed under: The Adventures, The Family | Tags: Ash, camping, Evil Dead, flood relief, flooding, Indiana flooding, rain, Red Cross, thunderstorms, vacation, White Castle

About this time last summer, Spider-Husband’s mom and sister invited us to go on a mini-vacation of sorts and asked if we’d be interested in renting a couple cabins in one of the state parks for a weekend.  Cabin space is pretty limited, so if you’re interested in getting space, you need to make a reservation up to a year in advance.

I’m not exactly what you picture when you think of camping as one of my coworkers reminded me this afternoon, “You camping? Who fluffs your pillows? What time does the caterer arrive?”  But, Spider-Husband is a fan, and it’s cheap…two qualities that will dramatically improve your odds in the Blonde household.  So, we signed on late last summer and have spent the past several months waiting for June 6 to arrive.

When the big day finally arrived, Spider-Husband and I were ready for adventure.  The Disaster Twins securely left in the care of “Grandma Karel”, we cut out of work early on Friday and were on the road by 2 p.m. to make our big escape.

5 p.m. – SpiderHusband, Mom Connie, Brother-in-Law-to-Be Mike, and the Troops (comprised of our soon-to-be niece and nephews – Zachary, Courtney, Jeremy, and Gabriel) arrive at Shakamak State Park and start to set up camp

5:45 p.m. – The Blonde makes the mistake of letting her loving nephew retrieve his own can of Coke…half of which immediately ends up on her shoes and legs after being shaken in a way that only a three-year-old can manage

6:15 p.m. – Ever the outdoorsmen, Zachary and Spider-Husband build a campfire using the very handy and very aromatic remnants of a White Castle Crave Case as kindling

6:30 p.m. – Sister-in-Law-Already Media arrives with the rest of the loot

7:20 p.m. – SpiderHusband makes the Blonde what might possibly be the best PB and J sandwich she’s ever eaten

7:30 p.m. – It starts to rain…er, pour

7:40 p.m. – Nine people in varying degrees of sogginess crowd on to a screened-in porch for four to play Taboo

8:05 p.m. – The Blonde spots a creature the size of a small housecat scamper across the front room of her cabin and somehow manages NOT to hyperventilate

9:35 p.m. – With one victory under their belt each, several members of Team Courtney and Team Jeremy head back to their cabin in what has now become a torrential downpour

9:45 p.m. – The Blonde is forced to sleep next to the same wall that she earlier witnessed an unknown rodent running along after Spider-Husband conducts an extensive search and turns up no evidence of said creature

Saturday, 1:32 a.m. – Monsoon-like conditions kill the electricity

1:47 a.m. – Spider-Husband gets up to investigate a giant booming noise that the Blonde suspects is a tree falling on her beloved Civic…it is not

1:49 a.m. – The Blonde’s fantastic digestive system kicks in to action as her intestines launch a revolt against the much-feared Burger King cheeseburger that she knew better, but chose to snarf down anyway for lunch that day

1:59 a.m. – Media starts to text message the Blonde and Spider-Husband after seeing our flashlights whipping around the cabin

2:15 a.m. – Spider-Husband informs the Blonde that if this trip gets any worse he’ll insist she call him “Ash” for the rest of the trip

7:30 a.m. – Rain lets up just enough for park staff to inform us that if they can’t get power up and running soon, they’ll be forced to shut the park and kick us out since their sewer system also runs on electricity…oh, and no flushing unless it’s absolutely necessary

8 a.m. – Rain resumes and the Troops indulge in some not-so-nature-related activities like…

Video Games…

Text Messaging…

And, my personal favorite…putting each other in “time outs”.

9:20 a.m. – The rain stops and we head out to hike on one of the park’s four trails since all the other park facilities are closed due to flooding, lack of electricity, and the state of emergency that the county is now under

9:24 a.m. – We head to the playground after discovering Trail One is now below sea level

9:50 a.m. – The Blonde’s new tennis shoes and her inner thighs are completely covered with mud after assisting her nephew, of the shaken Coke incident, on the playground equipment

11:30 a.m. – Ash and Mike spend an hour building a campfire using damp paper plates, toilet paper rolls, empty McDonalds containers, and lots of rain-soaked sticks

12:30 p.m. – We enjoy a most excellent hotdog and hamburger cookout and bust out the portable radio to hear the latest news on the weather

1 p.m. – We learn that the entire area is in a state of emergency and that several major highways surrounding the park have been closed due to flooding and more rain is expected that afternoon

1:15 p.m. – The levee that supplies the Jasonville Water Company service area, including the park, fails and residents are informed that water service will be shut off at 6 p.m. and may not be restored until 3-4 days

1:30 p.m. – Park ranger stops by camp to tell us the park is closing and that we need to evacuate as soon as we can find a route not covered by water

3 p.m. – The Blonde, Ash, and Mom Connie head north toward Terre Haute to pick up I-70, which we later discover is closed going eastbound after a portion of the road collapsed due to rising floodwaters

4:45 p.m. – After sitting in traffic and being guided by public safety crews through flooded intersections for about 20 miles, we reach I-70 and head west in the opposite direction from home and into Illinois since all eastbound highways are impassable

6:15 p.m. – We cross the Illinois state line and head back into Indiana

9:30 p.m. – After dropping off Mom Connie and picking up the Disaster Twins, we reach our final destination…the not-so-palatial Blonde estate…our mini-mini-vacation at an end

All joking aside, this may officially rank as the worst attempt at a vacation ever for us, but it’s not so bad when compared to the devastation that several of the communities we drove through on our way back home are now faced with after their homes and businesses were destroyed by one of the worst floods Indiana has had in many years.  Spider-Husband and I were shocked when we saw the news coverage on the television when we got home and are both very grateful that our family made it safely out of the flood area and back to Indianapolis.

I’ll be making a donation to the American Red Cross of Greater Indianapolis tomorrow to help provide flood relief assistance to those communities.  If you’re interested in donating, too,  you can make a contribution through the American Red Cross of Greater Indianapolis website or by calling (317) 684-1441.

 

 

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